This week, Kenyan digital creator Lydia Wanjiru (@_lydiawanjiru.ke on Instagram) sparked a crucial and long-overdue conversation with a powerful post that cuts through societal norms like a hot knife through butter. Her message is simple yet revolutionary: it's time to normalize leaving children with their fathers after a breakup, especially when mothers are facing overwhelming odds. Why, indeed, should the ingrained tradition hold that a child's safety and well-being are inherently tied to the mother's hands, while fathers are often relegated to a secondary role?

Wanjiru's post challenges the deeply ingrained, often romanticized notion that a mother is the default, inherently more capable caregiver. This myth, while seemingly born out of a perceived maternal instinct, conveniently overlooks the very real pressures and limitations that mothers, particularly single mothers, face. The rising statistics of single-mother households compared to single-father households paint a stark picture. Why are women so overwhelmingly left to shoulder the immense responsibility of raising children alone? Is a child not a shared creation, a shared responsibility that should naturally be carried by both parents, regardless of the relationship's status?

Wanjiru's poignant words resonate with a painful truth: "Aint the kid already suffering with a mum who cant provide ?why cant the man figure out what to do with the child just like the mom would have." This raw question exposes the inherent unfairness of a system that often expects mothers to magically overcome insurmountable obstacles while fathers are seemingly absolved of primary care duties. The implication that a mother possesses an innate "manual" for childcare while a father is somehow incapable is not only insulting but also dangerously perpetuates gender stereotypes.

Her hypothetical, yet chillingly real, scenario – "god forbid but what if the mum wouldnt be alive. so the man wouldnt have figured it out with his 20 and 50 bob with of responsibility" – forces us to confront the absurdity of this tradition. Would a child's well-being truly hinge on the mother's existence, with the father rendered helpless in her absence? This notion undermines the very essence of fatherhood and the capacity of men to be loving, capable parents.

Wanjiru's call for change extends beyond just the fathers themselves. She rightly points out the immense pressure placed on maternal grandmothers, who often step in as primary caregivers when mothers are struggling. "Let mums and their mums rest. these comments break my heart. so as a mum has a manual on how to take care of a child but a dad doesnt. aint the kid already suffering with a mum who cant provide ?why cant the man figure out what to do with the child just like the mom would have." Why is the support system so heavily skewed towards the maternal side, while paternal grandparents are often overlooked as equally capable sources of support?

Lydia Wanjiru's powerful message is a much-needed wake-up call. It's time to dismantle the antiquated notion that a child's safety and future are solely the mother's burden. Fathers are not babysitters or occasional helpers; they are equal parents with the same capacity for love, responsibility, and care. Normalizing the idea of fathers taking primary custody, especially when mothers are facing hardship, is not about abandoning children; it's about ensuring their well-being by distributing the responsibility where it rightfully belongs – with both parents and their extended families.

Let's heed Lydia Wanjiru's call to "release women from slavery." Let's challenge the ingrained biases that perpetuate the myth of maternal infallibility and instead embrace a more equitable and realistic understanding of shared parenthood. A child deserves the love and support of both parents, and it's high time our societal norms reflected this fundamental truth. It's time for fathers to step up, for families to support both parents, and for us to finally lay to rest the outdated tradition that a child is only truly safe within the mother's embrace. The safety and well-being of a child thrive in an environment of shared love and responsibility, regardless of which parent holds their hand at any given moment.