There’s a growing crisis in how we raise boys, one that doesn’t often make headlines but shows up in broken relationships, fragile egos, and men who are emotionally stunted, unaccountable, or lost. Before the defense walls go up, no, this is not a male-bashing piece. This is about love. About responsibility. About calling out parenting patterns that, intentionally or not, are failing the boy child.
We often ask, “Where are the good men?” But rarely do we ask, “How are we raising them?”
We Overprotect Instead of Prepare
Many boys are raised in cocoons of comfort. Their parents shield them from discomfort, conflict, and even failure. They’re rarely held accountable. A scraped knee becomes a crisis. A failed exam becomes the teacher’s fault. Eventually, these boys grow into men who expect life to bend to them, and fall apart when it doesn’t.
We Discourage Emotional Expression
From an early age, boys are told: “Don’t cry.” “Man up.” “Stop being soft.” Vulnerability becomes shameful. Sadness is weakness. So they learn to bottle it up. And bottled emotions don’t disappear; they mutate into rage, withdrawal, or numbness. We are raising men who don’t know how to feel, let alone heal.
We Confuse Control for Strength
We celebrate dominance, but ignore emotional intelligence. A boy who bullies is told, “He’s just being a boy.” One who’s gentle is told to toughen up. We forget that real strength lies in self-control, empathy, and emotional literacy. Without those, masculinity becomes performative, even toxic.
We Let Entitlement Take Centre Stage
Some boys are raised believing the world owes them; attention, leadership, even women’s bodies. Discipline is inconsistent or completely absent. Mothers make excuses, fathers stay silent. These boys don’t become confident men; they become entitled ones. And entitlement breeds weak character.
We Fail to Model Healthy Masculinity
Absent or emotionally distant fathers leave boys to figure out manhood on their own or through warped portrayals in modern society. Boys need men who model responsibility, respect boundaries, and own their emotions. Without that, they turn to influencers or peers for direction, often with catastrophic results.
Making Sons Emotional Partners
In some families, especially in single-parent homes but also in two-parent households, mothers (or sometimes fathers) unintentionally blur emotional boundaries. A son becomes the primary confidant, emotional support system, or even a stand-in for an absent or emotionally unavailable partner.
It may seem harmless even loving but it places emotional weight on a child that they’re not equipped to carry. This dynamic can lead to confusion around roles, boundaries, and attachment, often showing up in adulthood as codependency, emotional avoidance, or difficulty forming healthy romantic relationships.
Children need care, not responsibility for someone else’s inner world.
What’s the Way Forward?
It starts at home. With uncomfortable conversations. With redefining what it means to be a “strong man.” Strength is not stoicism. It is not ego. It is not dominance.
Strength is emotional maturity. It’s accountability. It’s empathy and self-discipline. It’s knowing how to lead and when to listen.
If we want to raise strong men, we must start raising whole boys. Boys allowed to feel, to fail, to apologize, to grow. Boys who are taught that their power doesn’t come from control, but from character.
Because in the end, weak men don’t just fail themselves they hurt families, communities, and entire societies.
