Today, as the world celebrates mothers, my heart swells with a unique sense of pride. This isn't just about the joys of motherhood; it's a powerful testament to my survival. At 22, life threw me into the deep end of parenting with the arrival of my precious Kayla Keisha. She became my universe, my daily motivation, the reason behind every hustle.
But my journey wasn't paved with roses. This Mother's Day, I'm not just celebrating single motherhood; I'm celebrating surviving the darkest valleys of postpartum depression, the insidious grip of suicidal thoughts, and moments when I felt a chilling resentment towards the very child who now lights up my world. It wasn't hatred for Kayla, but the overwhelming weight of a life I felt ill-equipped to handle, a constant reminder of the sacrifices and endurance demanded of me.
There were times, shrouded in despair, when the thought of ending it all, taking Kayla with me, felt like a twisted escape. Days bled into weeks where basic needs were a luxury. I'd stare at my innocent baby, a knot of anxiety tightening in my chest, wondering how I could possibly provide for her future when I couldn't even secure my own meal. The first five years were a relentless cycle of hospital visits and financial strain, constantly battling the fear of Kayla's next illness.
The common saying, "a child comes with their own plate," felt like a cruel joke. Where was this supposed luck when we struggled for the bare necessities? It taught me a harsh truth: parenthood demands planning, and children deserve a father who is a true partner, not just a husband.
Even now, I don't claim to have all the answers. Motherhood is a daily navigation, a constant learning curve. This Mother's Day, I celebrate my resilience. I celebrate the countless times I chose to fight instead of surrender. I celebrate the dual roles I've embraced, striving to be both mother and father to my Kayla, always showing up when she needs me.
I celebrate the strength it took to resist the urge to hand her over to more "stable" family members during moments of utter desperation. I celebrate enduring the sting of rejection, the heartbreak of a man I loved walking away because he deemed us an "extra burden." The silent battles of single parenthood are often unseen, the narratives untold. The man I loved once coldly suggested I figure out where to "leave" my child, as he had no intention of marrying me and taking her in.
Parenting is not easy. Providing is not easy. Dating is not easy. Filling the shoes of two parents is an exhausting, often thankless job. But through it all, I can attest to the unwavering faithfulness of God. I may not have the manual, but I hold onto the unwavering belief that someday, all will be well.
This Mother's Day, my celebration is personal. It's a recognition of my strength, my survival, and the unbreakable bond with my Kayla. Happy Mother's Day to me – the warrior who chose love and life, against all odds.
And as I celebrate my own journey, my heart extends to every mother across the globe. To those who have weathered storms I can only imagine, who have carried burdens heavier than mine, who have loved fiercely in the face of unimaginable hardship – Happy Mother's Day. Your resilience, your unwavering love, and your tireless dedication shape not just families, but the very fabric of our world. Here at Kush Entertainment and Information Network LLC, we recognize and deeply appreciate the profound impact and enduring strength that mothers demonstrate and contribute to the entire world. Your sacrifices, your love, and your unwavering commitment do not go unnoticed. Happy Mother's Day to each and every one of you.
